Today marks 11 weeks, this makes me happy. It only took 11 weeks to fall in love with a country. About 3 weeks ago I was counting down; I was ready to go “home”. God was changing my heart. The fact that in about 2 months I will be on a plane back to America breaks my heart.
It is hard to imagine life the way I use to live it, without all my babies. Life without the smiles I see every day, from kids who have no reason to smile.
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| Being silly. Enjoying the night |
I will be going back to people I love, but leaving the people I am put on this earth to love. To say they need me maybe true, but I need them, their smiles and kisses, so much more.
The things that I missed so much when I got here, food and materials, don’t matter so much anymore.
I have become completely dependent on my Creator. He knows what I need and supplies my needs according to His riches. I am afraid of going back to my “normal” life. I am scared of never feeling as close to God again as I have felt in the past 11 weeks. I am terrified of becoming dependent on flesh again.
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| No shoes means it's time for fun- or to catch worms lol |
I am afraid of falling out of love, back into complacency. I never want to forget the smiles that form on the faces of kids when you tell them you love them. Seeing the tiny flip flops outside our house and knowing I’m going to get a giant hug as soon as I walk in. These things make life so worth it.
I am forever changed, and this is only the beginning.
It took 11 weeks to fall into a love I never want to fall out of<3
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